A friend of mine called me up today to tell me that Victoria Boutenko will be giving a talk this weekend a couple of hours away from where I live. The talk includes lunch and first I was really excited about the prospect until I remembered that we are having a family gathering to celebrate Steve's birthday at the same time, so I guess it wasn't meant to be.
That got me to thinking about how I haven't posted about my diet for awhile, so I thought I would give an update on where I am at with it all.
Over the past few weeks, I have been eating more and more cooked foods. Most of the cooked foods I have eaten have been fish, beans, cooked veggies, and a small amount of eggs or gluten free baked goods.
On the most part, I have maintained a raw diet for most of the day eating only one cooked meal per day. I also try to serve something raw with the cooked foods. This ratio of eating maintains a good sense of well being. I don't feel like I am vibrating at as high of a frequency with cooked foods in my diet as when I am eating all raw, but I think I have some issues to work through before I am ready (if ever) to operate at that frequency on a long term basis.
I am however, feeling very blessed with the experience I had this summer. Many good things have come out of it. Even though I am eating some cooked foods, I feel like I am maintaining the healthiest way of eating that I have experienced thus far. My kids are eating so much better and healthier (and enjoying it!) than they were before I began this journey and they even have been turned on to a few raw goodies that they think are tasty! I have not drank caffeine since the beginning of July which is awesome and I have eaten more natural sweets- all desserts have been raw with the exception of mellow jello (which is apple juice and blueberries jelled with kudzu), so I am feeling good about that. I also now have a repertoire of easy, raw salads, breakfast foods, and snacks that I love and can incorporate into my daily eating.
One reason I have decided to surrender to cooked foods for now is because of a little lesson I am experiencing in my life. One week in my yoga teacher training we were discussing some ethical practices taught in yoga called the yamas and niyamas. I am not really going to get into a discussion of what these are, but just to give you an understanding, I think of them as spiritual guidelines that help guide you to freedom. One of the yamas is called Aparigraha which is the practice of non-possessiveness and the absence of greed. We were asked by my teacher to meditate on this yama and think about how it manifests (or doesn't) in our lives over the course of the week.
Well, it became very clear to me how there is definitely a presence of greed in my kitchen. I have mentioned in a previous post that we have 5 gallon buckets that contain grains and beans that I have purchased in bulk from our food buying club. One night as I was preparing dinner, I noticed some little bugs crawling on the outside of some of the buckets and I felt a sick feeling in my stomach that perhaps all of the buckets had become infested with bugs. Later that night I had a chance to clean things up and inspect the contents and found that one 98% of what was there had not been affected. One bucket of brown rice was not sealed well due to a faulty lid, but luckily we had gone through a lot of it and I only had to throw out a small amount. I was so thankful. However, I realized how ridiculous it was to be hoarding this food in my home, yet not eating any of it because I was eating mostly raw. So at that moment, I made a resolution to use up what I had.
That same week, I canned several quarts of green beans and crushed tomatoes (that is a whole other story as to why I decided to preserve cooked produce for the winter) and as I was finding space to store these quart jars, I was just flabbergasted by the amount of food we have in our pantry and freezer and fridge. I am with food in my kitchen like some sewers are with fabric in their stash or knitters with yarn. It is crazy. I am not sure what it stems from. A feeling of scarcity in food when it seemed like we always had an abundance while growing up. I sometimes wonder if it is because I was switched to formula when quite young because my mom got some bad advice from her doc that I was allergic to her milk. My mom says that they fed me on demand with the bottle, so I don't really know.
So, as I have done quite a bit of cleansing and clearing physically with how I have eaten over the summer, I think it is time to do a bit of emotional and mental cleansing and clearing with my relationship to food as I prepare the food that we have stockpiled in our house. I think I need a non-possessiveness of what my diet is or isn't. I know that I love the raw food movement. I love reading about it and watching you tube clips and reading raw food blogs. I love the change that eating so many live foods has brought into my life and I feel like I will be journeying down this idea of eating for awhile. I am trying to learn how I can incorporate sprouted beans and grains into my diet. But one week I went a little gung-ho with the soaking (remember I love to soak things) and had about 6 things going at once and experienced some not so good results, so I think I will take it one sprout at a time. I want to use this time to perhaps read more on transitioning children to raw foods (not so much to convert them, but more for the ideas on how I can successfully incorporate more for them). I also want to use this time to learn how to pray as I cook pouring only positive vibrations into the food I prepare and continue working on chewing each bite to a pulp in my mouth before swallowing. I want to learn moderation in my menu planning and weekly shopping.
So, now there is a new goal for myself. I told Steve that I wanted a couple of bags of nuts, a jar of honey, and some coffee for him, but then for at least 4 weeks, I want to try to only spend $30/ week on groceries. Yes folks, that is how much food we have in our home. I know that is some more lack mentality stocking up on those few things too and I know I can do without, but I think overall it will be a very good experience and take me further into my transition into more raw foods.
